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Domestic Abuse; the Healing Process

Posted on October 28, 2020May 12, 2022 by Kathymcman

God is telling us that great Joy will find us again. You will Laugh again, Love again, feel peace. You will flourish again!

Healing doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a process. Take time, don’t rush it. For me, it has been a long process with different seasons of emotions. I thought I was broken, thought that I would never recover from the many years of abuse. I would love to say that once you leave “Poof” your old life is over and you can immediately start a new one. Although that would be very nice, it’s not realistic.

For many of us, some for your entire life, you have been abused in one way or another (bullying is a form of mental abuse also).

Your scars can make you stronger

Psalm: 147:3; He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

We all have a past, we all have scars (physical or emotional; some may be deeper than others). However, our scars don’t have to define us, instead they can refine us. Abuse leaves scars, deep scars, but lucky for us we have a Savior that loves us so much

Look at just how much Jesus loves us. He endured the most horrific form of crucifixion in history for us, YES US! His scars run much deeper than anything that we could ever go through. His wounds were healed and He will heal yours also. “For His stripes, we are healed” Isisah 53:5.

Jesus sacrificed his life, for this purpose: So that our sins could be forgiven and so we would not perish but have eternal life through Him. As in the first Bible verse I learned as a child, John 3:16. As well as any regrets, hurts, sorrows, broken hearts or mental strongholds that we may have (the strongholds that Satan throws at us to cause us turmoil). Yes, He can & will turn our wounds into blessings. On the other hand, He will turn the bad for good and use it to catapult us forward, making us stronger & wiser.

How great is His love? Nobody will ever love you this much. you are feeling broken, lonely or sad, remember how much YOU are truly LOVED

Praise Him in the storm

We just need to pray and keep faith. Seek God and praise Him! When I was still living under the same roof as my Ex, I would not only Thank God for fighting my battles, but for keeping me safe and having better plans & purpose for me. Praising God in the storm works! I encourage you to have Faith and praise Him. When you praise in the storm, you defeat Satan!

The healing process when I left: First and foremost, I pray morning, noon & night. I didn’t take one step without Jesus.

I Thank God daily for healing my broken heart and for protecting and healing my Brain (for all the abusive words to have not rooted too deep). Thank Him for rescuing me from the “Lions Den”. I Thank Him for picking up my broken pieces and putting me back together, like Humpty Dumpty :). I Thank Him for restoring my self confidence, for smiling-laughing again. For closing old doors and opening new doors. For moving my mountains, financial blessings, providing me with nice living accommodations, for placing my enemies under my feet, for surrounding me with loving family & friends again.

Above all, I am so grateful for His guidance and for having much better plans & purpose for me than I could ever imagine. For filling my heart with love again and for restoring peace in my soul. Praise isn’t just singing and praying, it’s glorifying His name by being grateful for the things that He has done and for things that have not yet come to pass.

Psalm 150:6; Let everything that has breath praise the Lord, Praise the Lord!

The healing process-Support is important

You may greatly benefit from joining a support group and I do recommend it. Whether it’s a domestic abuse group, Co-dependency or even grief counseling, there are many out there. I was a mess when I first left, literally a mess! My Church has a Celebrate Recovery group, which I was suggested to try. Certainly it’s a great program, however I went two times and realized that it wasn’t beneficial for what I personally needed. So, I continued to read my self help books, my daily devotional and of course the Bible for my recovery. If you have read my other posts, you know that listening to Christian music is instrumental to me, God surely talks thru music.

Talk it out

Talking to family & friends is very helpful but sometimes it is nice to talk to someone “outside” of your circle. For example; I felt like I had to be stronger than I was around my friends & family, they heard me cry for so many years, I should be over it by now…time to move on (so I felt they thought). Talking to people (like at my Church) that didn’t know my Ex or didn’t know too much of my background was helpful, no judgments or guilt feelings.

Subsequently, I felt that I could break down and cry (which I did a lot) without feeling bad about it. In the process I realized other people had similar experiences, I wasn’t the only one, which made me feel better. On the plus side, I got a lot of great advice and spiritual uplifting as others prayed with me. Who doesn’t need more prayers? I love my prayer warriors, can’t have too many!

The healing process is going to be different for everyone, as all of our situations are different. But one thing stands true for all of us, and that is that we have Jesus to heal us. Don’t hide and curl up in a ball of depression. Jesus doesn’t want us to hide, this will only prolong your healing. He is saying “Come out, Come out, wherever ever you are”. He is waiting for you to seek Him.

Open up your heart and fall in love with Jesus. There is no other feeling and no better way to heal. Believe me, the pain won’t last forever. However, it will make you stronger.

Good songs to listen to: Casting Crowns; Praise you in the storm and Chosen by Sidewalk Prophets. “Does every scar determine who you are?” “You’re not worthless, You’re precious. You are not left out, you are wanted” Listen to the full songs, they will sing to your soul.

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